


Forever In Blue

by DestielHardcoreLove, Swlfangirl



Series: A Tribute To Journey [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/F, Female Castiel/Female Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Genderbending, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 17:11:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14430297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielHardcoreLove/pseuds/DestielHardcoreLove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swlfangirl/pseuds/Swlfangirl
Summary: Everyone is born without one color in their spectrum.  Some know right away, some won't know until it bursts into their vision.  And it only happens when they see their soulmate.





	Forever In Blue

* * *

 

 

 _When she walked into the room_  
_I felt her move me_  
_I saw her eyes_  
_They went right through me_  
_Just one look I was forever in blue_  
  
_In a spell of her embrace_  
_Just for a moment_  
_I was the one, caught in the moment_  
_I knew, yes, right then I knew_  
  
_[Chorus:]_  
_Two hearts, reach for each other_  
_Once chance, she's like no other_  
_I'm lost, lost in the dream of you_  
_'Cause it's true oh_  
_I'm forever, forever in blue_  
  
_In a fantasy of my anticipation_  
_I knew there was no consolation_  
_I knew, oh I knew_  
  
_And on the night she told me that_  
_She had another_  
_I was broken by the truth_  
_I discovered, I knew oh I knew_  
  
_[Chorus]_  
  
_Believe me girl, I tried not to call_  
_But here I am once again, yes once again_  
_Beside you, with my hands on the wall_

 

 

  
  


Deanna rubbed at the back of her neck as she stretched. As much as she loved her baby, even the comfy leather seats had reached the no-longer-comfortable stage after the nine hour drive, which was sadly only the halfway point, between visiting her dorky brother and home.

 

She kneaded her sore neck and shoulders as much as she could, rolling her head to look up at the pale grey sky. She found a cute little park bench not far from the diner she spotted and relaxed against it. When she took in the view around her, her pulse seemed to calm and all the rough edges she held onto seemed to smooth out, just for a minute. It was nice. Small town life had never held appeal for Sammy, but she as much as she protested otherwise, she thought maybe she could be happy in a place like this.

 

In another life…

 

She ate one of the most mouthwatering meals she’d ever tasted at that little diner and stuffed herself full until nothing else was going to stay down. That, of course, was when she noticed they had a dessert menu and a variety of pies taunting her. She didn’t indulge, the last thing she needed was to get sick while there were still hours of driving time left ahead of her.

 

Her feet carried her on, just a bit of a walk to let her food settle, she thought. Though when the warm summer breeze touched her skin, Deanna knew she was gonna end up booking a hotel. No way was she going to get behind the wheel without falling asleep.

 

Thankfully she wasn’t in a rush.

 

She climbed back into the impala before warm puppy syndrome fully overtook her and found a Super 8 just a few blocks away. When she pulled onto the side road, the familiar glow of neon lights pulled her in and she grinned.

 

“Nothin’ wrong with havin’ a drink if I’m not gonna be heading home tonight anyway,” she told herself, before she pulled back out and moved the short distance back up to the hotel.

 

Once she checked in, showered and felt more like herself, Deanna put on her favorite jeans, a white tank top and grabbed her dad’s army jacket on her way out the door. It was a bit big in the shoulders but she loved the way it looked on her, the way it made her feel, like she was invincible.

 

She stepped into the room with more confidence than most people experience in a lifetime, took a few steps and readied herself to sit at the bar but when she turned her head it was like the air was just sucked out of the space, leaving her breathless and a little dizzy.

 

Deanna really didn’t notice it at first, she probably should have...but everything else was muted when she saw  those _eyes_ . It was like something out of a magic show the way the color seemed to shine with an ethereal glow. Deanna didn’t have a name for it, just… just _her_.

 

She’d never seen anything like it.

 

The girl had long, chestnut brown curls and pretty pink lips that were glossy wet, tempting her in a way she’d never experienced. The small laugh she overheard made something flutter in her chest. She’d nearly stepped forward, more her body’s reaction than her brain, but then there he was...both literally and figuratively standing in her way. His arms wrapping around her lithe, lean body.

 

Of...fucking...course.

 

It wasn’t until she woke with a headache from hell that she realized what had happened. Her bag hefted onto her shoulder as she made her way toward the Impala and happened to glance up and catch sight of a brand new color.

 

_Blue_

 

Sam had told her once, tried to explain the colors of the sky, the ocean, but Deanna had never cared whether or not she could see it, looked just fine to her, she said time and time again.

 

But then she’d never saw it filled with shades of the same color, dark fading into light.

 

It was breathtaking, much like the girl at the bar.  

 

She should have never expected it to work out for her, soulmates were for people like Sammy and Dad...she wasn’t one for settling down anyway.

 

And maybe if she told herself that a few more hundred times she’d actually believe it.

* * *

 

Cas rubbed at the back of her neck, turning her head sharply to the right as if expecting someone to be there, staring at her.  It was a strange feeling, a pressure that had built up her spine to settle at the base of her skull. She’d never experienced it before but the second she turned, it was gone. Whoever had been staring at her was gone too and there was a sudden swoop in her gut, as if her soul knew she just missed something monumental. At her frown her older brother Luc made a face in hopes to making her laugh.

 

“Why the long face sister? It’s a great today, you are now a college graduate!” he exclaimed. Cas brushed off the sudden loneliness creeping through her veins and forced a smile.

 

“Sorry, don’t know where that came from,” she laughed softly, her shoulder that wasn’t buried under Luc’s arm lifted in a shrug.  Her brother wasn’t convinced, he knew her way too well for that but let it go for now. Their friends were all there including Cas’s little sister Dree.  She’d just turned twenty one a few weeks ago so the celebration wasn’t just for Cas tonight.

 

For the rest of the night Cas was able to brush off that pull on her stomach and heart.  One that kept trying to get her to leave the bar, to go outside and go somewhere other than there.  She was sitting next to Dree staring off into space when something was pressed into her hand. Whatever the liquid was, she couldn’t see it’s color.  She knew in an instant that it was green. The one color missing from her spectrum.

 

“Absinthe sister,” Luc said cheerily, his voice slurred a bit by now.  Cas rolled her eyes fondly and took a sip, her face twisting a bit at the taste. Luc only chuckled at her and moved on to talk with one of their other many siblings that they had.  Some by blood, the rest by either adoption or of their own choosing.

 

“So, still planning to move to Boston after this?” Dree asked her. Cas let out a deep breath with her nod, she was nervous.

 

“Mmhmm.  I want to get out of here.  I love you guys but I need a change of scenery,” she said softly.

 

Dree nodded, her eyes glancing over at the bear of a man now talking to Luc, “It’s because we all found them...isn’t it?” she asked, her voice barely heard over the loud din of the music.  Cas’s lips turned down and she quickly looked at her drink. The subject of soulmates had always been a bitter conversation where she was concerned. Every member of her family had found theirs, including her little sister.  Benny was an awesome, sweet, handsome guy but deep down she hated him. Especially when Dree exclaimed she could see the different tones of blue and green, like the sea.

 

“I need another drink,” she grumbled getting up and making her way to the bar.  Her bus wasn’t leaving for a few more days and she planned on drinking herself stupid until then so she couldn’t ruin the happiness of her siblings because they all had what she realized she’d never get.  

 

“Bottoms up,” she huffed, downing four shots one right after another.

* * *

  


The time passed, some days slower than others but eventually Deanna got back into the groove of work, food, sleep, bars on the weekend for a little fun, then rinse and repeat all over again. She started out cursing the days where the sun shined against the bright blue background, but as the days and months passed, that blue became more pale and soon she wondered if she’d even remember what it looked like once it faded back to the dull grey she’d dealt with the first twenty eight years of her life.

 

As much as people loved to talk, she didn’t mind that she was almost thirty now. They whispered things behind her back, like she was too stupid to know, but she didn’t give a flying fuck what they thought of her.

 

At least, not most of them.

 

Sammy was different with his, “I just want you to be happy,” speeches and pitiful looks whenever she declined to spend her vacation with him out in California.

 

He didn’t seem to understand that she _was_ happy. Sure, there were nights when her mind replayed the short string of images from the bar, but those times were few and far between. Mostly, she was pretty damn happy. She had a good job, making good money, and she was still able to get her hands dirty every now and then.

 

It was good, wasn’t it?

 

Her thoughts did nothing to soothe her restless spirit so she stepped out of her small office and into Charlie’s area and gave her the adorable puppy look. “What’s on the schedule today?”

 

“What’s on the schedule for the other techs or are you asking if there is something you can do boss?” Charlie asked with a sneaky little grin.  

 

“Well I wouldn’t be opposed to taking a case, _if we’re really that busy_ ,” Dee said, grinning hopefully at her best friend. “I need something to sink my teeth into, metaphorically at least.”

 

Charlie looked at her boss slash close friend and finally sighed dramatically, “You’re in luck.  Some little vet clinic called in almost hysterics that her power keeps going out. Was gonna give it to Ash but if you reallllly want it,” Charlie grinned.

 

Dee snapped up the ticket before she could even tease about passing it over.

 

“Mine,” she said as she turned on her heel and stepped back into her office. She could dress casually at work, which was a plus, but even casual didn’t mean something she could take a call in. She’d kept a spare outfit in her desk drawer since she’d agreed to the promotion earlier that year and slid into it quickly, a fondness swelling in her gut. She started to feel more and more like herself with every passing second.

 

“I’ll be back later or maybe Monday… who knows!”

 

“Yeah, yeah, wear a condom!” Charlie cackled before snatching up the phone which was ringing obnoxiously.

 

Deanna held her smile all the way out to the truck. It wasn’t nearly as nice as her baby but the douchebags in corporate had already lectured her a few different times on “Branding” or some shit, so she wasn’t allowed to drive her car on any more jobs.

 

When she got to the address on the ticket, she looked around for some kind of paw print or something usually found at these places but was surprised to see that it was actually just a little wooden sign that read, “Paw Angels”

 

Well there it is, it’s kinda cute at least.

 

Meg walked around the clinic, clipboard in hand as she checked on each of the kennels.  They had three patients so far and thank God none of them needed actual equipment to keep them breathing.  The damn power had been flickering on and off all morning and her poor boss was nearly in tears when she gave up trying to fix it herself.  

 

“Alright Freddie, time for your medicine,” she said softly about to reach for the cup on her tray when the front bell sounded off.  Cas was still in the basement, the sounds of her hitting the damn fuse box echoing up the stairs. Meg placed her clipboard on the counter and hurried to the front, her eyes widening at the woman waiting there.

 

“Well, hello there.  What can I do for you?” Meg asked, saucy grin in place.

 

“I’m here to solve all your problems,” Deanna grinned, the girl was gorgeous, though her eyes were off, her hair a little too dark-, she cut those thoughts off quickly and added a flirtatious wink as she handed over the ticket. “Somebody called about electrical flickers?”

 

“More like electrical failures,” Meg snorted, a loud bang with an even louder curse following it came up from the stairwell.  Meg snorted again, “And that would be my boss, I made her call before she burnt the place down trying to fix it herself,” she said.

“Yeah, she probably shouldn’t mess with that stuff if she doesn’t know what she’s doin, could really wind up hurt,” Deanna said, feeling a little bad for being so distracted by the cute girl.

 

“I’ll just,” she said, pointing toward the steps with a questioning glance back.

 

“Go right ahead, careful on the stairs though, might end up on your ass,” she grinned with a wink.

 

“Not a problem,” Deanna chuckled, pulling the small flashlight from the outside band of her toolkit. She flicked it on just before heading down the stairs, thankful for the little light she had. The basement was significantly darker than the upstairs, but she slowly navigated her way toward the landing at the bottom. “Not to be rude or anything, but you probably shouldn’t mess with that if you don’t have experience with electrical wiring and stuff...you can really damage the panel not to mention end up hurtin’ yourself.”

 

Cas let her head fall back, the tears of frustration being held back by only her sheer will power.  This morning had been one of the worst in her time owning this small space for her clinic, “Well excuse me for trying to save a little damn money to get this stupid thing to work!” she grunted, insanely tempted the throw the wrench in her hand at either the panel or the woman behind her.

 

She spun on her heel to face her and suddenly all the air in her lungs rushed out of her as if she’d been slugged in the stomach.  The wrench clattered to floor as the walls of the basement she had thought were gray, suddenly turned into a horrid looking green.

 

There was a loud clang on the cement floor but it took Deanna a few beats to realize what it was. She swallowed hard, the face in front of her feeling more like a dream or a memory than anything she could possibly see in real life.

 

“You,” she whispered, barely realizing she’d said it aloud until the girl’s face twisted up in confusion.

 

“I… I um...huh?” Cas was breathing hard, her heart pounding in her throat the longer she stared at the woman standing a few feet from her.  It couldn’t be...could it? After all this time? Before the other woman could say something Cas was running past her up the stairs. She had to be sure. The moment she was outside she gasped, the sudden intake of breath burning her lungs.  

 

Dee bit back a bitter laugh before pushing herself toward the fuse panel.

 

She had work to do.

 

Cas couldn’t believe it, she could actually see the grass!  She bent down to drag her fingers through it and then suddenly remembered...she left her soulmate in the basement and didn’t say anything to her!  Cas jerked up and rushed back inside where Meg was staring at her as if she’d lost her mind. She probably had for a few minutes.

 

“Your shirt...I can see your shirt,” she whispered. Meg looked down and laughed then suddenly stopped, her eyes widening.

 

“Wait...you mean...her?!  Aw man, dammit Cas I was gonna hit that!” Meg laughed.  Cas narrowed her eyes but couldn’t help smiling a bit.

 

“Well what the hell you waitin for, get back down there sheesh,” Meg said playfully pushing her towards the stairs.  Cas wanted to rush but she took her time until she was standing within a few feet from the woman again.

 

Her mouth opened and then stopped, remembering the way the woman had reacted to her...as if she already knew Cas.  She didn’t even seem surprised or well, much of anything if she was being honest.

 

“What did you mean by that?” she asked.

 

“Nothin’, just give me another ten minutes or so and I’ll be out of your hair,” Deanna said, trying her damndest not to let any of the heavy disappointment she felt color her words. It settled in her stomach like an angry stone and part of her wanted to ask why, why couldn’t she have waited, but that was unfair and she knew it. She hadn’t been a damn saint either, but seeing her soulmate smile, hearing her laugh, share a space so intimately with someone else just made her skin crawl with the feeling of _wrong_.

 

But Deanna wasn’t going to tell anyone else how to live their life.

 

Not now, not ever.

 

“What?” Cas said, wincing at how pathetic her voice came out.  This was not how it was supposed to go right? Everyone else got fireworks and excitement, a sense of relief when they found their soulmate.  Her’s sounded almost angry. Was she disappointed with getting stuck with Cas? She swallowed hard and brushed some of her long hair behind her ear, the frustrated tears from earlier turning into hurt and rejection.

 

“A-are…” Cas wiped at her face and took in a deep breath, “I’m sorry if I’m not what you expected…” she finally managed to get out.

 

“What?” Deanna whipped her head around so quick she felt her neck stretch. She was confused more than anything, but the tears on that gorgeous face knocked the anger and disappointment right out of her. “Look, I just-I don’t need to get in the way here. You and your-whoever he is, can go about your business.”

 

Cas’s face scrunched up, “My what? I’m so confused,” she said, continuing to stare at the woman until she got an explanation.  When she tried to turn back toward the electrical panel Cas moved forward and snatched the screwdriver out of her hands, “No, you’re gonna tell me what this is about because I am so lost here.  I thought this was supposed to be a good thing, everyone I know was so happy...so why aren’t we?” she asked biting down hard on her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Being this close to the other woman was almost too much and she could actually see her eyes even in the dim glow from the flashlight.  They were green and she had to fight the urge to cup the side of her face to bring them closer.

 

Dee thought for a few beats about what she’d said, her mind just not computing until she realized that when she’d said _we_ she was actually referring to the two of them and not her and her boyfriend…

 

Maybe they weren’t together anymore?

 

“I-are you not, are you not dating a tall blonde guy with a kind of um, snarky grin?” Deanna asked, her pulse speeding up just a little with the hope that fluttered in her chest.

 

Cas’s mouth dropped open, “Wait...you, you were there that night weren’t you?  A year ago in Illinois at Pub 13...you were the one staring at me weren’t you?” She asked, a huge grin stretching her lips as that puzzle piece slid into place and nearly stealing her breath again.

 

Deanna rubbed at the back of her neck, she felt like an idiot. “Yeah, but then your boyfriend showed up and I got out of there..”

 

“I never had a boyfriend!” Cas exclaimed, ignoring the way her cheeks burned at the admission, “That was my brother Luc, I was with family that night.  I had just graduated and was about to move here,” she said.

 

“Your-” Deanna stopped, thinking back on the memory of that night.

 

Had she really made that big of a mistake? Judged something as innocent as a hug from a sibling as something more? She was usually pretty good at reading the room, seeing the difference between couples and friends but then again, everything seemed _more_ suddenly and she wasn’t sure how to deal with that then. Hell, maybe she wasn’t ready now either.

 

“I-I don’t know what to say, I thought-.”

 

Cas moved closer, her hand trembling a bit as she reached up to cup the side of the woman’s face.  Her eyes were even more green if that were possible. Cas couldn’t wait to get her out of the basement to fully experience the depths of those eyes in the sunlight.  She smiled shyly as the woman tilted her face against Cas’s palm, “You can tell me your name?”

 

  
“Oh, Dee-,” she swallowed hard when those big blue eyes flicked down to her lips, her words stuttered off quickly as a flare of heat filled her core.

 

What the hell was happening to her?

 

Deanna Winchester did not get... _whatever the fuck she was._

 

She forced herself to move on, though she couldn’t stop the hard thumping of her heart in her chest. “Deanna, but most people call me Dee.”

 

“Dee, I like that,” Cas whispered dragging her thumb slowly over Deanna’s plump bottom lip, “Everyone calls me Cas, my name is Castiel though,” she said, huffing out a laugh.  Her parents had been ridiculous and weren’t even religious but still gave each of their birth children names from the angels.

 

Everything inside her was tingling with anticipation, her mind going a little fuzzy the closer Cas came to her. It was all too much and somehow, she still managed to find her breath, her footing and push their lips together.

 

It wasn’t as tender as she should have made it, should have told the girl how much she planned to cherish her with their first kiss. Instead, it was like a kettle boiling over after being left unattended for so long. She nipped and sucked at those sweet pink lips and groaned at the taste of cherry on her tongue when she pulled away.

 

“Ungh,” she said, somehow feeling dizzy from it all.

 

“Wow,” Cas groaned, hands scrambling to grip onto Deanna’s waist, keeping her from backing away too much.  Cas tried to catch her breath but her heart was pumping to wildly for that. Instead she tipped up her face for another kiss that tried to start out soft but soon Cas felt the wall pressing harshly into her back and her hands were in Deanna’s hair.  Cas’s lips parted with a deep moan the moment Deanna traced at them with her tongue. The warm, wet slide of their tongues turned her knees week and she clutched onto Deanna to keep from sliding down the wall.

 

When they broke again, Deanna felt her knees trembling and her hands were shaking a little too. It was too much. Too much and too soon. She backed away, wincing at the whine that left Cas’ throat.

 

“We should...we should stop for now, this...uh this isn’t getting your um...electric fixed. I should- I should get back to work and then maybe we can talk or something, _after_.”

 

Cas nodded, laughing a bit when neither of them moved any further from the other.  Cas reached up to touch the side of Deanna’s face again and smiled, “I’m really glad it was you who answered this call,” she said and finally moved out of the way for Deanna to get back to work but didn’t want to leave the basement.  There was a deep fear inside her heart that if she did leave, that Deanna would disappear like she was some fever dream.

 

It wasn’t easy to finish the job with Cas _just_ out of sight, but she managed to get the panel secured again and flipped the main breaker back on again. Light filled the small space, more than she’d expected at least. Her eyes took a second to adjust but before she could really get a look at anything, she was wrapped up in a tight hug.

 

“Oh my God, thank you!” Cas exclaimed as she hugged around Deanna.  She pulled away with a blush but couldn’t help staring into those green eyes that she was able to see much better.  She still needed to see the sun catch in them and she was tired of waiting. She took Deanna’s hand and eagerly pulled her up the stairs.  Nearly falling on her way up but only laughed as Deanna fussed over her.

 

Finally they were outside and Cas cupped Deanna’s face, memorizing each shade of candy apple green and whiskey brown, “God you are beautiful,” she whispered.

 

“Oh, no… I mean you’re-,” Deanna stuttered.

 

Usually she would just snark back with something charming, no matter how fake or plastic it felt but Cas was different. She found herself blushing and fumbling with the buttons on her shirt instead. “You’re um, you’re gorgeous, you… you were that night too, I-I’m sorry I didn’t…You were just _soo_ , well you know.”

 

She scrubbed both hands over her face and sighed into her palms. “Sorry, I’m just makin’ an idiot out of myself today.”

 

“No you’re not,” Cas said smiling softly as she gently took Deanna’s hands away.  She couldn't get over just how amazing Deanna’s eyes were and probably would never get used to it, “I wish I would have turned earlier that night.  I felt you staring at me...God if only I had just turned to look the moment I felt it. It doesn’t matter anymore, what does is now. And I’d really like to not let this float away from me again,” she said playing with the ends of Deanna’s honey blonde hair.

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Dee said, as she pulled Cas in tight against her. She only only belatedly realized how seriously she’d meant it. It was quick, too quick even for most soulmates really, but they’d waited so long and part of that was her fault. She didn’t want to wait anymore

 

As far as she was concerned, her future was standing right there, staring back at her with big blue eyes and a smile that made her pulse race.

  


 


End file.
